Tuesday, July 01, 2003
@ 05:28pm
| Entry no.232 | woot, woot, I'm pathetic
||   mood    rushed   ||
||   music    "loving you" _ immaculate   ||

I'm actually somewhat excited that I made it through all of June without missing a day. It's also kind of a shame, being as it is rather pathetic that I was able to post every single day.

Anyways, onto daily events. My sweetie would up coming over here and crashing at my house last night, because he wasn't in the right frame of mind, and needed someone to talk to. He wound up kicking Ummi out of her bed for the night, because Ummi was going to crash in my bed with me, but when he came over, that was the end of that. Ha, nothing bad happened in my bed though, so keep your minds out of the gutter. My bed is a virgin bed, and I plan on keeping it that way. I'm a good girl. ((laughs)) I can't even say that with a straight face. But, no. I am. We wound up having a nice little talk yesterday about everything, and I decided that I was going to be a good girl from now on. He's not unhappy about that, but he's not exactly thrilled either, but hey, I want just one relationship where the guy isn't using me for the sole purpose of sex. So, we're right back at being completely PG, until I think it's okay to move forward. But that might be a while, because by George, I'm going to have a normal relationship. Don't get me wrong, the sex is great... and I'll miss it like crazy, being the sex-crazed little midget, especially when it's so good, but, yep. Normal relationship. Let's see how long I can keep up this charade.

Eek, just something I want to mention, while I was laying in his arms, the "L" word was brought up by him. Like the thought of that doesn't terrify me. Love? I feel like running away. He also pretty much yelled at me, because he wished I would show him more affection and not test him so darn much. But I can't help it. I'm damaged. In my last relationship, I let him know exactly where I stood at all times, and that got used against me. So, never again. As for the testing part, yes I am trying to test him, but not in anything bad. I just want to see if he's worth it all... or if I'm actually worth it. I don't know what I'm talking about. What I do know is that when he came over, I wound up sobering up pretty quickly because I was making insane amounts of pina colada. Darn him for ruining that. Ah, oh well. There was probably more stuff that happened, but I do have to run now, because Allie wants me to cook for him. <33 toodles.

unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

|| n.a.v.i.g.a.t.i.o.n ||
dwelling in the memory of:: July 1st, 2003
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